Almost What We Could Have Been
by KrisEleven
Summary: Written for Cassandra on Goldenlake's Secret Admirer Exchange. A few moment in Buri and Thayet's life, in Sarain. If they had of been the people they were meant to be, without war and crowns and prejudice, perhaps they would have been more.


_"Your Majesty? This is my daughter."_

_"Hello, Buri!" Kalasin said to the shy little girl. "I'm so glad to finally meet you. Thayet, come say hello to Jhona's daughter."_

_Thayet stood from where her dolls were placed and smiled. Holding out her hand, she invited the other girl to play._

_Buri held her mother's skirt for only a moment before she accepted._

* * *

><p>Buri wandered the garden path, seemingly aimlessly to anyone watching. She didn't know where she was going, precisely, but she knew she was heading in the right direction. It <em>felt<em> right.

She passed a narrow entrance in the shrub, walking towards the famous rose gardens when she stopped, turned on her heels and backtracked. Through the small entrance and down a narrow path, she found a small stone fountain. Walking around it, she knelt down beside the dark-haired Thayet, dressed in silk that draped around her like thread candy and sitting on the ground.

Buri sat heavily, ungracefully on the lip of the fountain beside her friend's shoulder.

Thayet looked up at her, wide-eyed. "Did anyone see you?" she asked, her voice hushed.

"Of course not," Buri replied, refusing to whisper. She didn't ask why Thayet was out here while the guards conducted a frantic but furtive search through the palace because she already knew how unbearable it was to live under the thumb of Adigun jin Wilima. The K'miri had done it for hundred of years, and sometimes, after a particularly bad day, Buri thought she could feel all of those years pressing on her K'miri shoulders.

They sat in silence, listening to the fountain behind them.

Finally, Thayet sighed. "I suppose I am completely useless," she said seriously.

Buri couldn't help it, and snorted.

"That's unladylike," Thayet observed. "And I'm serious. What kind of princess hides in the garden while her father drives half the country to rebellion?"

"What could you be doing differently?" Buri asked, practically.

"Nothing," Thayet whispered, "and that's what frightens me so."

"Thayet," Buri said, dropping to the ground so she was kneeling in front of her friend, their knees touching. She grabbed Thayet's hands in hers and they were squeezed tight. "It's not your fault."

Thayet attempted a snort of her own, and Buri was momentarily bemused that on her, it almost _was_ladylike. "I know."

"Then how are you a useless anything for not fixing it? All on your own, at sixteen?"

Thayet tried to hold on to her smile but it faded away. "How can he let it go on?" she asked. "When it is killing her and tearing me in half, how?"

Buri looked down at their hands, intertwined. "I don't know."

"I just feel like it is all coming to... something. That some dreadful storm is on its way, just out of sight... Buri, promise me, if something happens... we will stay together, right?"

"Of course," Buri promised.

Thayet smiled and Buri looked down at their hands, dazzled. Thayet had always been the kind of pretty that made mothers pat her head or cheeks, that made other children want to be her friend and older girls want to coddle her. Even Buri could see that she was changing into a beauty, now that they were growing older, and it made feel... odd. Not jealous, because if she was going to be jealous of Thayet she would have had hundreds of other things to choose from before this. Not self-conscious, exactly, because Buri didn't have any illusions about her own personal strengths, but... something.

"Of course we'll stay together," she said again. Thayet turned her fingers in Buri's grasp.

"Always?" she asked, leaning forward to rest her head on Buri's shoulder. Her dark hair tickled Buri's neck and chest where it fell.

"And forever."

* * *

><p>Thayet pushed her mare a little harder as they rode over the hill, following the pathway through the Royal Forests. Their – her – guards trailed behind the Princess and Buri as they rode, unhurried and disinterested. The unrest in Sarain had not spread so close to Adigun's base of power that his daughter could not ride these familiar paths, unafraid.<p>

There was a trick to getting the guards in just the right position. If you were too slow, too careful, they could keep up and would be on hand when the break was made. However, if the girls rode too aggressively from the start, the guards would be alert and sure to stay close. Buri and Thayet were old hands at the balance, and with the guards being replaced often to ease her father's concerns about traitors within the palace staff, they had plenty of chances to practice.

Buri glanced back and nodded as she took in the guard's lack of interest. As they rode over the crest of the hill, momentarily out of their sight, both girls kicked their horses into a run, cutting off the main trail into a smooth path that led to the river. A moment later, they heard the guards shout in alarm, but they rode Sarain horses, not K'miri mares and the girls were soon out of sight, hidden in the meandering pathways that stretched for miles.

Thayet threw back her head and laughed as they reached one of their favourite spots, in the shade by a wide, shallow pool formed in one of the brooks. Buri jumped off her horse, feeding her treats from her pocket as she grinned in response.

"You would think someone would warn them," she said.

"I'm not sure any outside the guard know; I don't think anyone has ever told my father, in all the years we've been doing this."

"Well, you deserve a day away," Buri declared. She kicked off her boots and waded into the river. Thayet followed suit, gasping as she walked, unprepared, into the ice-cold water. Buri cast back an evil grin, prompting Thayet to splash her.

They crawled up onto a flat rock in the middle of the brook, leaving their feet in the water as they leaned back in the sun.  
>Sometimes they would talk for hours as they made their private escape from the lives they led, but today they sat in silence, enjoying each others' company and trying not to think.<p>

Three years before, Thayet had spoken of a storm on its way, and it was truly on the horizon at this moment in their lives. True war was inevitable as clashes continued and rumours of massacres reached even Thayet's ears. Soon, not even the Royal Forest would be safe, and their rides (and solace) would come to an end.  
>They both knew this, but wanted to protect the other for one moment longer, and so allowed the silence to be filled with peace, instead. But when Thayet's fingers brushed Buri's as she adjusted her position, and Buri grasped them. Thayet returned the grip, holding fast to that comfort.<p>

Thayet sighed, finally, squinting at the sky through the trees above them. "We should go back."

Buri groaned and buried her head in Thayet's shoulder. "Five more minutes," she said, her voice muffled by the cloth of Thayet's shirt.

The princess laughed. "And to think, everyone believes I am the irresponsible one."

Buri shook her head, her nose brushing against Thayet's arm. "No one thinks that. Impulsive, maybe, but never irresponsible."

"Impulsive would be to push my servant and guard in the water–"

Buri sat up quickly, grabbing on to Thayet, her eyes wide. Thayet laughed, leaning forward to hold her stomach at the panic in Buri's face.

"You're not funny," Buri said, trying not to smile and failing. "I should push _you _in."

Thayet looked up, her shoulders still shaking with giggles. "You wouldn't," she said smiling, her face close to Buri's own. Their eyes met and they stared at each other for a long moment, Buri's hands holding Thayet's arms, their thighs pressed against one another on the rock they shared, alone in the world with the other person they truly loved.

Thayet leaned in slightly, her eyes flicking down to Buri's lips and back to her eyes, an invitation.

Buri breathed deeply and almost closed her eyes, her lashes fluttering.

Then their eyes met, and they both smiled ruefully. Thayet would be missed, shortly, as the guards would report her missing if they were unaccounted for for much longer. They had troubles to return to, war to worry on, their people to mourn... For one moment, they were almost the people they could have been, had they not been the people they were... but it was an almost they could not indulge in. There were duties to return to, after all.

Buri did lean forward and press a kiss to Thayet's cheek before jumping into the water and holding out her hand.

Thayet looked around at the peace she earned for, only a moment, before she placed her hand in Buri's and stood.


End file.
